That Night, Under Heavy Rain, I Felt Unusually Calm

It was raining today.
I sat before my computer and deployed my very first blog.
In that moment, delighted, I told my mother:

“I built my own website!”

She looked up and asked, with a faint detachment:
“Is it useful?”

“Is it useful?” — The Weight of a Simple Question

I’m twenty-one.
Her question dropped into me like a stone, scattering countless ripples.

Useful?
No.
It depends entirely on how you use it—and what you choose to believe.

The word useful carries the dry scent of instrumental rationality.
As if every action must converge toward some obvious payoff
in order to justify its existence.

I do not subscribe to that view.

Absurdity and Meaning: The Echo of Existentialism

From a philosophical standpoint,
the question itself is absurd.

Life, in many ways, is grounded in nothing.
Measured through nihilism,
everything is “useless.”

And precisely because the world is empty,
existentialism becomes compelling.

Sartre writes: “Existence precedes essence.”
The world may be indifferent, without direction, without assigned meaning.
Yet I still choose to give it meaning.
I label what is “useless,”
and through my freedom,
I make it “useful.”

The Irony: People Defend Only What They Already Like

Ironically, people defend only the things they already value.
When an outsider—someone beyond their domain—
dismisses their work with a careless grin,
they react with immediate hostility and wounded pride.

More ironic still:
the most ignorant are often the ones who try to cross boundaries first.
They cannot understand another’s passion,
yet hurry to pronounce judgment.
They believe they are offering correction,
but are simply projecting their own scarcity and fear.

A true creator does not beg for recognition.
He simply continues his work.

And once, we too were ignorant.

What I Choose to Believe

I believe the value of creation does not lie in immediate results,
but in whether it brings me closer to myself.

I built this space
not for traffic, fame, or market attention,
but to leave a small voice
in the vast ocean of the digital world.

It may be small, solitary,
but it exists.
And that existence itself
is already a form of usefulness.

Creating Within the Void

Perhaps one day this blog will be forgotten.
Perhaps no one will read it.

That is fine.

In an indifferent world,
I still choose to leave traces.
To write meaning
inside a universe that offers none.